I showed him my bush... on skype.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
