HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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