I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
