ugly people sure do ruin things
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
