She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i've created a new STD.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
