If i come over, it means nothing
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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