i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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