Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Btw I puked in your glovebox
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
