i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
