I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
