Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
