So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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