What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
