i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
