Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
