i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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