umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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