Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
