In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Did I show you my penis last night?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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