This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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