im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
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