I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
