No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
