HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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