the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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