I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
