pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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