By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
