he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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