i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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