I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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