so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
