...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize