are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize