i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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