This is not my ceiling
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
