Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Randomize
