It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
