wat bout pragnant strippers??
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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