She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
