she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
