Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
