WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
porn star boner night. come get it.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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