I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
is it fun? or sober?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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