Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
