the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
