@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
