they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
