I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
