Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
