The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
