I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
So apparently I’m into choking now
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
