I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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