HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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