i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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