Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
