I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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