happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I think I just sharted jello shots
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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