That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
