Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Shitshow foam night was such a success
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize