I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
