just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I will pee on everything he values.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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