Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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