I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
