yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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