Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
