too bad you live with your parents still
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Randomize
