Three words: puerto rican gang bang
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
