he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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