I need help removing her.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
