is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
