The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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