He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize